Run over at a Strip Mall Parking Lot 5 min read

The following happened to a friend of mine, who also enjoys being crushed by beautiful women. One day last year he was hanging around in the parking lot of the local strip mall in front of the grocery store.

His plan was simple, wait for beautiful women to arrive and allow them to run over his hands and feet. He parked his car a little ways from the entrance and waited. During this time, he would watch for vehicles approaching and, if he saw one being driven by a nice looking woman, he would drop down under the front of his car and stick his hands or feet out.

As the day passed, he was not having much luck as either the vehicles pulling in next to him were being driven by guys or were too big (he had no interest in having his hand or foot broken by a soccer mom monster truck). As is the tradition in Florida, it started to rain as the afternoon wore on. This makes it harder to see who is driving but makes it much easier to get crushed.

At the time, it was raining very lightly when he saw a pretty, young blond girl driving a mid-sized Honda entering the lot. As all of the spaces closer to the stores were taken, he knew that he had a great chance. He lied down completely under the front of his car and when he saw the car start to pull in, he stuck out his feet to get run over.

He had both of his feet together and slid them out so that the front right tire would run over about half of both of his foot. As he was wearing sneakers, he knew from past experience that it would probably not be noticed. And because the spaces were not that wide, the car had to pull in very straight.

As luck would have it, she was pulling in very slowly because of the bad weather. As the tire rolled up onto his left foot, the woman almost completely stopped. But then the car rolled a few more inches forward and was resting on both of his feet. As the car was still running, he just waited in total ecstasy for her to pull more forward (there was a lot of space in front of her car). But instead, she simply put it in park and turned off the car.

He watched under the car and saw her step out. She was wearing sneakers and, as he caught a glimpse of her running to the store, saw that she was relatively young. Maybe 25 or so, long blond hair, fairly athletic (he guessed about 120-130 lbs) and shapely. Now he had not bargained on her parking her car and actually leaving with him under it. But the rain kept him hidden from view as the row he was parked in faced a hedgerow, not another row of cars.

He described it as an amazing feeling. Because the car was small enough, it had not broken anything and he could still wiggle his toes a little bit as the tire was higher on his foot. But the pain just kept slowly increasing. After 15 minutes or so, he was beginning to worry. After about 30 minutes, he was in a panic – as he could no longer feel his toes. It started raining heavier, so he knew that he was in this for the long haul.

After about an hour under her tire, the rain finally let up. He did not hear her approaching but felt it when she opened up the back door on the driver’s side and put in her bags. She then climbed in and started the car up. At this point, he thought that he was all set, but she did not move the car or take it out of park.

A few minutes later, the truck on the other side of her car pulled out. Without any warning, the woman turned the wheel sharply to the right, without moving the car at all. My friend said that he could hear the bones break, but did not feel anything. The worst part was that she just sat there and did not move.

He looked behind her and saw that there was a vehicle in the road behind her, the truck that had pulled out moments earlier. As the truck pulled out, another car suddenly appeared and quickly pulled into space where the truck was. With the total realization of what was about to happen and absolutely no way to stop it, he simply laid there and waited.

The woman then just turned the wheel straight again. Pain shot up both of his legs and he passed out. When he came to, it was because his left shin had just been run over by a truck backing in. His only saving grace was that the person had backed in and it was a smaller sized pickup truck – not much weight on the back tires.

The person must have thought that they hit the concrete stop block and let the truck roll forward off of his left leg (he thanked the gods for standard transmissions). He did not see who got out, as he faded back out from the pain for a while. But I know he fantasizes that it was another beautiful woman!

At the hospital, they told him that he had broken two bones in his right foot and that his left shin bone was fractured. It took him several months to recover and he lost his job (at least his insurance picked up the initial costs).

He tries to look at the experience from the good side. If he had placed his hand there, it was a 50/50 chance he said, he probably would have lost several fingers. Only his sneakers kept him in one piece. He said that he mostly gets off thinking about how this woman totally destroyed his feet, breaking multiple bones, and causing him to lose his job by simply turning the wheel to her car with such ease and without a single care about it.

Then she sat there and, again, with total ease turned the wheel back the other way. She then drove off without a single thought about it.